


Stay

by I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drunk Sam, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Slash, Protective Gabriel, Souls, Talking, set some time after season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting/pseuds/I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting
Summary: Sam gets drunk and during his hangover talks to Gabriel about stuff.Just so people know, there is talk of suicide in it so please be aware of that.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is just a fic inspired by some conversation I thought Sam might have with someone, especially talking about the soul and stuff so I thought i'd write it down.  
> I own nothing but my mistakes, hope you enjoy.

He held the now almost empty bottle of whiskey lightly in between his fingers. He lay sprawled across the couch sleepily. Sam Winchester was drunk.

It took a lot to get a Winchester drunk but whatever Sam had decided to consume was obviously enough. 

“Heya there Samsquatch.” Smirked a cheery voice.  
“Gabriel,” Sam mumbled with a smile.

“Think you’ve had enough to drink there mate?” Gabriel said with his eyebrows raised.

Sam frowned in a way that was definitely not adorable and looked up at Gabriel in confusion. 

“Why?” Sam asked.

“Well, you do seem a bit drunk,” Gabriel snickered.

Sam frowned again, “Maybe just a little,” He said honestly trying to work it out.

“Come on kiddo, bed time.” Gabriel said moving over to Sam.

“I’m not a kid.” Sam mumbled.

“Sure you’re not big boy, come on.” Gabriel moved to Sam and easily moved them both into Sam’s bedroom and changing Sam into sweatpants and a t-shirt.

He carefully placed Sam into bed and smoothed his hair as the younger Winchester snuggled deeper into his pillows.

Gabriel went to leave the room but suddenly a hand grasped his wrist tightly.

Gabriel looked over at Sam in surprise.

“Stay,” Sam whispered, his floppy hair falling into his big hazel eyes.

Gabriel smiled lightly, “Of course.”

He moved into the bed, wrapped his arms around Sam, and hummed an old song easing him to sleep.

Gabriel smirked at the cuddliness of the Winchester and watched over him as he slept.

 

“Ugh…” Sam groaned as he clumsily tried to roll out of bed. He froze suddenly, fear radiating through him as he felt the presence of another in his bed.

Sam turned to face whoever was there with him and was surprised to see the smirking face of Gabriel looking back into Sam’s.

“Gabriel?” Sam queried in shock. 

“Heya kiddo.” Gabriel grinned.

“Gabriel… you’re… you’re in my bed.” Stammered Sam nervously.

Gabriel just continued to smirk.

Sam swallowed thickly, “Did we… did we um…” Sam trailed off, not sure how to finish his sentence.

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows suggestively but didn’t answer.

Sam began to splutter out a bunch of non-coherent words.

Gabriel laughed softly, “Don’t worry Samaroonie, you’ve still got your virtue intact, you asked me to stay last night after you got super drunk and I did. I have to say, you’re quite the snuggler.” 

Sam felt heat rise to his cheeks but he ignored it, “Admittedly that doesn’t make me feel better.” Sam mumbled quietly.

“No but I doubt much will make you feel better after what you drank last night.”

“Can’t you just zap it away?” Sam groaned.

“I could, but then how would you learn to drink responsibly?” Gabriel grinned.

“I hate you.” Sam grumbled.

“I know.” Gabriel said in a way too cheerful tone.

“Well, since my body is in too much pain to care about any repercussions, I wanted to ask you a question.” Sam said.

“Shoot.”

Sam took a deep breath. “Why are you staying with us? I mean not that I don’t like having you around but… why? Why haven’t you run off to your old trickster ways or something? I just… I don’t understand, I mean you don’t owe us anything, you died for us.”

“I came back.” Gabriel added.

“You didn’t know that you’d come back. You died for us Gabe, you could do anything you want, guilt free, yet you choose to stay and to help.”

Gabriel smiled down at Sam, “Maybe I want to stay. Maybe your weird messed up team free will is the only place I’ve felt like I actually belong in for a while.”

“You’re a pagan god, a trickster and an archangel is fitting in really a problem?” Sam asked dryly, raising his eyebrows.

“You’d be surprised.” Chuckled Gabriel.

Sam looked down, “I know it’s probably nothing like your situation, but I kind of understand.”

“You’re also a pagan god, trickster and an archangel? Wow Sammy, I had no idea.” 

“Ha-ha” Sam said sarcastically, he turned serious again as he continued, “I just, I sort of get not feeling like you belong. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I belonged anywhere… even now.”

Gabriel looked at Sam earnestly, “Because of the demon blood?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Sam breathed.

“That’s not your fault though. You were a baby when you first had it and then you drank it because you thought it was the lesser evil, you thought you were helping save the world.”

Sam shook his head slightly, “My motives don’t change what I did, what I became.”

Gabriel took Sam’s face in his hands forcing him to stare into his golden eyes, “You are not a demon Sam.”

“I’m not human either,” Sam said softly.

“You know kid; I’ve been around for a few years and trust me when I say that I’ve never met a kinder, more selfless and caring human then you.”

“I’m tainted, I’m impure,” Sam argued.

“What because of the blood?”

It’s… it’s not just because of the blood” Sam admitted.

Gabriel looked at Sam with concern in his eyes; he gently moved his hands from his face to the back of his head.

“Gabe, I went around with no soul for over a year, I spent over 200 years in the cage with the devil, I mean for God’s sake, I still can speak Enochian!” Sam said intensely. 

Gabe looked slightly baffled, “You can?”

“Yeah, I just… I’m broken Gabe,” Sam said, his eyes suspiciously shiny. 

Gabe smiled sadly, “We’re all broken. But do you know what makes you different? Different to every other person out there? It’s that everyone but you is trying to fix themselves, everyone’s trying to put themselves back together, but not you, no, you’re trying to put others back together. You don’t care that your broken, you don’t think you’re worthy to be fixed so instead you pour all of that love into other people who don’t even deserve it. You are beautiful and so is your soul.”

Sam scoffed.

Gabriel tilted his head slightly at Sam, “Sam do you know what a soul looks like?”

“Not really, I mean isn’t it just light and whatever?”

Gabriel looked slightly bemused at the explanation. “Well do you know what your soul looks like?”

“I don’t know, probably the opposite.”

Gabriel’s grip tightened at that, “Yours is brighter Sam. Your soul is almost as bright as an angels grace and it is beautiful. All the pain and suffering you have been through has just made your soul brighter and stronger. “

Sam shook his head.

“Sam Winchester you listen to me, you are good and pure so stop thinking that you aren’t worthy, because you are.”

Sam took a shaky breath, “It just… it just seems that whatever I do, whatever choice I make it’s always the wrong one. It’s always the evil one. I mean I’ve been possessed by two angels, one of which is the devil and the other one was the reason for all of humanities sins. I just can’t… I just feel that it’s not worth it, that I’m not worth anything.”

“Sam…” Gabriel trailed off.

“I tried to kill myself.” Sam whispered.

Golden eyes widened at that.

“Lucifer had visited me, he told me I was his vessel and I told him I’d die before I said yes… he told me he would just bring me back. I know it was selfish but I was hurting so much, my cravings were coming back after some hunters tried to get me to drink some blood and I just wanted it to stop. So I thought, two birds one stone, Lucifer can’t take over the world without his vessel and I wanted out. So I shot myself in the head and then I woke up. Lucifer brought me back just like he said he would.”

“Sam don’t you ever think that you’re not worthy of living life, there are so many people who would be hurting if you left them… like me.” 

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise.

Gabriel pressed a soft kiss to Sam’s temple, “Come on kiddo, let’s sleep off that hangover.”

Gabriel put Sam to bed and curled around him protectively. 

Gabriel stayed with Sam and never left.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr - iwishiwasinteresting


End file.
